seems like i'm back

from a long journey from a non-blog land, i hope you'll take me back!

i was busy making to-do lists of to-do lists, collecting spit-ups, talking, babytalking, nightsleeping, daydreaming, suffocating in a dream, having lactation nightmares...
it was all a dream, now we are slowly waking up.
but something has changed and now there are three of us.
and this weekend it will be the whole four of us! (yes, my other daughter's coming!).
so it seems: i'm back!

*

and when it comes to dreams, the new me has developed a new nightmare.
before i used to dream that i was lost somewhere, i couldn't find my mommy, i was alone, so sad and so poor.

and now a new dream has appeared, and it comes to me a few times a week.
i find myself on a journey (most frequently in lisbon) and i'm a on a party, making frieds, drinking, having lots and LOADS of fun. and then i realize: omg! i'm married! i have a kid! and, what is the worst: i am breastfeeding! my baby's going to die of hunger, and what is even worse: i have no pump and i'm totally going to BURST.

well, yeah. welcome to the motherhood, wska.